Experiencing vs. Remembering Selves

Hi Everyone!


What I’ve been thinking about this week is our “experiencing selves” vs our “remembering selves”. I’m sure I’ve written about this before, but I find it endlessly fascinating.


Basically, we’re story tellers. Our brains interpret our realities and then narrate them back to us. And the story is sometimes quite different from the reality.


I was reading about miler Jim Ryun who was running in heats and finals in a big race. In the heats he ran 4:07 – well off his 3:55 high school record time, and he recorded in his log “was hard”. He made it through though. The next day he ran the finals and won in a world record time of 3:51 – running the last lap in 53 seconds. He wrote in his log “felt very easy”.


Interesting right? Same body. Same race. How could running slower feel harder than running a world record?


I was listening to renowned psychologist Danny Khaneman recount an experiment which he found fascinating. They took subjects and held their hands in freezing cold water for 60 seconds. Then they later took the same subjects and repeated the 60 seconds of freezing water, but then left them in for an additional 30 seconds where they slightly warmed up the water. When asked which experiment they would prefer to repeat, the subjects all said the second one. Their “experiencing” selves had had the exact same amount of freezing water discomfort, but their “remembering selves” which had finished with warmer water, remembered the entire experience as having been more comfortable. So they preferred the irrational choice of keeping their hands in cold water for longer.


Back to Jim Ryun. When he was recording each effort in his log, his mind narrated an experience as it remembered it. One didn’t go well, so “felt hard” and another did, so “felt easy”. Had you been able to freeze him at any point during either race and ask the experiencing athlete how hard it was, I’m sure he would report they both felt similarly hard. But like the freezing water, one ended with a better experience, so was recorded differently in his mind.


When Khaneman was asked whether he’d rather have a more positive experiencing self or remembering self, he said remembering self. In the end, our memories are who we are – our experiences are fleeting. How interesting. So just remember, whenever you’re in the middle of something hard or “intense” or painful, try not to let that be your story. I’m no expert here, but it seems like, if you want to make things “feel easier”, you have to encode them to memory with a positive story. And I am 100% sure that’s why runs with friends feel so much easier!


Onto workouts for this week:

(Boston marathoners, please really take this month easy – you will have three full months of escalating training starting in June – don’t start depleted!)


  1. 4 x 800 with 1:45 rest a bit slower than 5K pace, 4 min, 5 x 400 w 1:30 rest @ 3K pace
  2. If doing fartlek style: 4 x 3:30 Hard, 1:45 Easy, 4 min easy, 5 x 1:30 Hard, 1:30 Easy
  3. Tempo: 2 x 12 min, 1 x 8 min all w 3 min


Have fun!






May 5, 2021 – Types of Fatigue

Oh man – who’s feeling tired these days? I definitely go through phases, but when the weather isn’t great and my motivation is low, I can really start to feel the low energy. But what does it actually mean when you say you’re feeling tired? Having experienced training for endurance events, being a new mother to a non-sleeping baby, being a working parent to young kids, living through a pandemic with teens, I consider myself a bit of a connoisseur of fatigue. And let me tell you – there is not one word which adequately covers all of these sensations! I think there should definitely be different words to describe each experience – especially when, as a coach, an athlete tells me they’re “tired”. Ok … that’s a very rough start. In case it might be helpful for you in deciphering how you’re feeling, here is a brief breakdown of my different sensations of “fatigue” (I’m sure there are more):


If I’ve just completed a hard workout, I may have the fatigued but “buzzing” feeling in my legs – a satisfying sensation because it means I’ve just worked hard and will hopefully reap the benefits – by becoming more fit, stronger, faster in my next outing. My legs are tired (that’s the point), but good tired.


If I’ve just finished a long run, I probably have more of an energy depleted feeling of fatigue. It’s also satisfying for similar reasons, but demands slower movement and less activity for the next 24 hours. It’s more in my whole body than just my legs.


In the day and sometimes days leading up to a race, I often self-check and find I’m feeling tired. I’ve done this enough that I know it’s a false cue from my mind. It’s either nerves, or my mind forcing me to conserve energy for a big upcoming effort, but I’m familiar enough with this routine that I now welcome it as part of the race experience. And as soon as I get close enough to the start for adrenaline to take over, the phantom fatigue vanishes.


Then there is the sensation of fatigue in a hard race or workout. I don’t even really categorize this as fatigue – it’s more like intensity (I try not to say pain, but it’s close). This sensation is so far removed from the sensation of early motherhood sleep deprivation fatigue, that I find it incredible that we give it the same name. But we do, so that is another type of fatigue I’m familiar with and am surprisingly comfortable with. If someone tells me they were “tired” at the end of a race, I interpret that to mean it is something that is trainable.


Sometimes, if I’m in the middle of heavy training for something I’m pushing my body to adapt to, like a marathon or Ironman, I will have an ever-present sensation of general body fatigue. It’s not a fatigue which necessarily requires more sleep – if I were sitting on a couch, I wouldn’t want to go to sleep. But nor would I want to get up and run around the block for fun. This is another type of fatigue I’m familiar with and comfortable with. I know it’s my body adapting to new demands.


Then there is the deep, achy fatigue, which I can only seem to categorize as “deep, or bone” tired. I associate this feeling with over-training. It’s when I get into a workout and there is no sharpness or desire to push. It’s just a generalized ache which feels like it could be adrenal or neuro-muscular. I’m familiar with this fatigue, but I’m not comfortable with it. I don’t like it. All I can do for this type of fatigue is to take some easy days and back off hard training. The amount of recovery and rest depends on how long I’ve ignored the feeling and pushed into it. Shockingly I’ve learned this lesson more than once, but I’m getting much better at recognizing it and backing off quickly.


When I was a new mother, my baby did not sleep at all. He preferred to be gently rocked all night. And during the day, he preferred motion next to my body. So I found myself cradling and rocking all night and walking all day. To say I was exhausted would be an understatement. This was pure sleep deprivation fatigue. I felt like I was existing on a different plane from everyone else – I could just function well enough to appear human, but I did not feel human. I did go for the odd run – there was nothing tired about my muscles or legs. I just needed sleep.


Then there was a phase when I had young kids and a corporate job and decided to train for a half marathon. The only time I could fit in my training was at 5 a.m. I did all of my runs and workouts at this time. I would wake up sometimes in the 4-somethings, run hard, get my kids to daycare and myself to work, pick them up, make dinner, read to them and absolutely crash. Similar to the new-mom tired, I was just sleep deprived and craved it all the time. I sometimes had to pull my car over to have an emergency nap. I could close my eyes and fall asleep anytime anywhere. I fantasized about being able to sleep. But my other goals were more important. Surprisingly, my body held up fine and I ran a solid race for me for the half marathon. My body could still respond well – I wasn’t deep, achy, bone tired – I was just sleep depravedly exhausted. It’s a different tired.


Sometimes I’m scrolling through headlines and I realize I just can’t click on one more thing to do with … *whatever crisis has been making headline news. I reach my limit on something, and I just find it too exhausting. Or if I’m feeling down or depressed, the smallest tasks can feel too overwhelming and exhausting. I can’t even bear answering the phone when I see a friend calling. I classify this as mentally exhausted. It’s under the umbrella of “overwhelm” but I think it’s what we mean when we say “I’m so tired of this!” It does actually seem to manifest as fatigue.


And then there’s the “blahs”. The no spark or excitement or motivation fatigue. It is true that not being engaged in something will sap your energy and actually make you feel tired. This could be what many of us are experiencing right now. I was listening to an interesting podcast with Reid Coolsaet who said he was training and doing marathon workouts with the hopes of qualifying for Tokyo, but his times in training were not there. Then he heard word of a race he was allowed to enter, and immediately his workouts and energy improved. He wasn’t “not trying” before – he just didn’t have the spark. You can’t fake the spark. It’s ok if you’re feeling a little tired because there are no sparks. You’ll be ready when one is lit.


So that’s my 2-cents on helping you decipher your fatigue if you’re feeling it. Most of these have a solution and might just take some patience and acceptance for where you are (except the new-mom thing – god help you if you have a colicky baby – but just know if you get through that you can get through anything!)


Race reports: Congratulations to Cullen who ran 1:19:22 in a solo effort Half Marathon this weekend! (sorry none of us could help pace you – I suppose if we’d used a bike…) Awesome job.



Onto workouts for this week!


  1. I’m back on this one – I don’t know if anyone did it earlier, but I suspect not. Let’s try it this week. 200/200 run as Hard/Tempo continuous. Do two sets of 4-5 repeats with 3-4 mins b/w sets. I promise you’ll feel tired! (a good tired)
  2. If doing it by time, 30 sec Hard/30 sec Tempo – same sets and reps
  3. Tempo: 2 x 3K tempo w 1 K easy, then 1K faster


That’s all – enjoy!





April 27, 2021 – Taking a pause

Hi Everyone,


What I’ve been thinking about this week is pauses. Those moments where you allow yourself to stop moving forward for a minute. Or maybe two.


I think it’s a good idea to build in pauses either at the end of a significant chunk of focused work, and even often in the middle. Pauses are not times where you move backwards. In fact, it’s the opposite. Pauses allow you to fully absorb what’s come before so that you have room to take on more.


Pauses are crucial parts of all growth. The rotation pattern for the most productive fields are sewing, farming, harvesting, and fallowing. The fallow season is key for maintaining high quality yields. When a field is left fallow, it restores its natural fertility which would be stripped to nothing if it were continually used to produce.


This is absolutely true in terms of running. Most plans and coaches plan a “recovery week” in every three or four weeks during a build phase. This trend is borne out by many real life experiments with athletes where it has been shown that an unrelenting progressive workload is both unsustainable and destructive. So if you want success, you plan in pauses.


The same goes with bigger pauses after macro-cycles. If you’ve been training for something for a long time, whether you hit your goal or not, your brain and body need a little pause to regroup and catch-up at the end.


I am thinking about how many of us have used running to help us to navigate a difficult winter. For almost all of us, running has been our main social outlet, has represented our sense of control when so much else has been out of our control, has given us space to tap into our own thoughts and emotions, and has been a very necessary physical outlet. If, like me, you are grateful for all running has given you this past year, maybe say a little word of thanks, and take a small pause so that you can reflect and absorb before launching yourself forward again.


What this pause looks like might be different for different people. You might need a little break from running altogether. You might need to run “for fun” for a while, and not track mileage or time workouts. You might keep your favourite types of runs in there, but replace some others with other types of activities, like cycling or paddling, to take the pressure off running as your sole outlet and ambition.


But remember that a good pause is a sign of nurturing and respect for the thing you love. You are not going backwards or losing fitness – you are absorbing and regenerating. And I’m no expert, but I bet the same holds true for other things in our lives. It’s not a sign of weakness if you need to take a pause from the news, certain tasks and activities, or even certain relationships. It means you care enough to want to come back with more energy.  So take and embrace pauses in your life where you need them – they will serve you well!


Onto workouts for this week if you aren’t pausing:


  1. Hills! I think we’re due! I like keeping a mix in these to keep them from getting too tedious – something like 2 longs and a short or long/short repeats. Whatever works for you, but try not to make to too “grindy” right now.
  2. If something is hurting and you don’t want hills, go with the strides workout. A Good warm-up, drills, then 4-8 cruisy strides. So good for you.
  3. Tempo option: 20-8-4 min tempo w 3 min rec


Have fun!